I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
