And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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