I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize