i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
