K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
