he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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