I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
