i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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