it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize