she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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