I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
