I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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