is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
