she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
