Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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