And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
