Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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