Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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