I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
