I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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