how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
