are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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