Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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