Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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