I can text with my tongue
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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