Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
