I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
