I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
