WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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