i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
