So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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