I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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