cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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