what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
