please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
