Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
