I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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