i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
