so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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