Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
