It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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