Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
