Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
