I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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