i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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