My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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