he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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