Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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