just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
