What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
