I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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