is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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