i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize