About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
