i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
