Ambien. No doubt about it.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
