we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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