THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
