Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Randomize