carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
