I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
