Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
