Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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